


help Tommy's been flinging chocolate at the squirrels and now they're attacking us

by jello12451



Series: Misc MCYT Oneshot Collection [4]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Chocolate, Crack, Fluff, Gen, Kinda, Lmao idek what this is, Squirrels, Tommy pisses off a group of squirrels, feels weird not to tag angst lol, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29053902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jello12451/pseuds/jello12451
Summary: Before you ask, Wilbur’s having a great day.Yes sir, everything is just fine. Not a single thing out of place. The day is perfect. It’s not like they’re being chased by a bunch of squirrels that Tommy somehow managed to piss off by throwing chocolate at them. No. Definitely not.What gave you that impression?No, Wilbur’s not sprinting through the woods with Tommy right behind him. No, Wilbur’s not frantically trying to take out his communicator to inform Phil that they’ll be crashing into the cabin door with a bunch of squirrels at their heels. No, Wilbur’s not desperately hoping Technoblade can win against a horde of squirrels.And no, Wilbur is certainly not wishing he could throttle a certain gremlin child as soon as they’re not being chased by a bunch of little supposedly cute abominations.
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: Misc MCYT Oneshot Collection [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2107116
Comments: 22
Kudos: 109





	help Tommy's been flinging chocolate at the squirrels and now they're attacking us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BlueQuills](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueQuills/gifts).



> Discord was crying after Chapter 19 of SoF&SoR and BlueQuills and I made a deal that if Blue could still joke after chapter 19 I'd write fluff
> 
> And tbh this is borderline crack but eh

“TOMMY, YOU IDIOT!”

“IT’S NOT LIKE I KNEW THEY’D ATTACK US!”

“SURE, TOMMY, LIKE YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT SQUIRRELS ATTACK PEOPLE IF THEY’VE BEEN FLINGING CHOCOLATE AT THEM WITH A SLINGSHOT FOR A GOOD TWENTY MINUTES!”

“SHUT UP!”

Before you ask, Wilbur’s having a great day.

Yes sir, everything is just fine. Not a single thing out of place. The day is perfect. It’s not like they’re being  _ chased by a bunch of squirrels that Tommy somehow managed to piss off by throwing chocolate at them. _ No. Definitely not.

What gave you that impression?

No, Wilbur’s not sprinting through the woods with Tommy right behind him. No, Wilbur’s not frantically trying to take out his communicator to inform Phil that they’ll be crashing into the cabin door with a bunch of squirrels at their heels. No, Wilbur’s not desperately hoping Technoblade can win against a horde of squirrels.

And no, Wilbur is  _ certainly _ not wishing he could throttle a  _ certain _ gremlin child as soon as they’re not being chased by a bunch of little supposedly  _ cute abominations. _

They’re not so cute when they’re chasing you down with bared teeth and screeches penetrating the air.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the cabin came into view. Quickly, both boys ran into the cabin, slamming the door shut and praying that the squirrels’ claws weren't sharp enough to claw through birch wood.

A few beats, during which Wilbur and Tommy stared at each other with equally wide eyes, breathing heavily.

Then, they slid down, backs against the walls, sighing in relief. 

“Tommy, I’m going to throttle you.”

“Try me.” Tommy retorted, though they were still both winded from running so far. 

“Jesus christ, I didn’t even know you had that much chocolate on you-”

“Shut up.”

“And I’m sure you’re all very relieved that you’re safe from a mass of mammals.” A dry voice remarked, making Tommy and Wilbur snap their heads up. “But mind explaining the message I got?”

Tommy looked at Wilbur in a horrified way. “You-”

“I panicked, okay?” Wilbur hissed.

In front of them, Philza held up the screen of his communicator with raised eyebrows.

**< WilburSoot> hekp tommys been flingin choclare @ sqrrlils and noww wee being attaked**

~

“So you’re telling me.” Technoblade said slowly. “That Tommy has been flinging chocolate squirrels in the forest, completely unaware that the said squirrels would undoubtedly get irritated and attack you, which is exactly what happened, and which is why there are now roughly fifty very angry squirrels clawing at our door?”

At the other end of the table, Philza continued to wheeze.

“Oh my god-” Philza choked. “Oh my gods, that’s just so-” He was cut off by another bout of laughter. Techno looked bored.

(Read: Technoblade looked like he had half a mind to make sure their father was still breathing and a quarter of a mind to join in, as well as another quarter of a mind, mostly comprised of his voices, to punt the idiotic child that brought in the full wrath of the squirrels.)

Tommy flushed in embarrassment, and Wilbur punched Tommy in the shoulder. 

Phil was still laughing. “Oh my god-  _ Oh my god. _ ”

By the time Phil had finally calmed down, Tommy’s face had the approximate colour of a tomato, Techno looked even blanker than usual, if that were even possible, and Wilbur looked ready to throttle the child.  _ Again. _

“Okay. Okay.” Phil chuckled a bit more. “Okay. That’s fine. They can’t get through the walls anyway, or the door. Just give them a night and they’ll probably return to their homes.”

Wilbur was faintly relieved at that.

“We’ll do the house renovations tomorrow.” 

Techno’s eyes widened as he turned to look at Phil. “I thought that was next week?”

Phil waved a hand cheerfully. “Nah, we can just do it now. Especially since all the logs and wood have probably already been stripped bare at this point.”

Techno rolled his eyes at that. 

Then, once Tommy and Wilbur had been reassured that  _ no, they will not be grounded for leading a horde of squirrels to their home- _ the hilarity of the situation finally settled.

Dinner preparation was full of Tommy’s shouting, Wilbur’s chortling, and Techno trying not to set things on fire. 

~

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh.”

Tommy stared at the battered doors and outside walls of their cabin, the wood looking like it wouldn’t have survived another scratch.

“Well, I guess we’ll be better off with dark oak?” Tommy said.

Wilbur snorted. “Sure. Pass the logs.”

“I am never,” Tommy declared, “going back into the forest, ever again.”

Wilbur shook his head in fond amusement. “Sure, Tommy.”

In the shadows of the trees, two figures watched.

“How long do you bet they’ll last?”

“Mm. A week.”

“Deal.”

~

And predictably, the same things happened next week. And the next. And the next. 

But none of the four of them would trade it for the world. 

**Author's Note:**

> Haha whatever
> 
> My discord server: https://discord.gg/HwbkW8jqrf  
> My YT Channel (I post songs): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQHHEpmzIrOYyxX659-3tfA


End file.
